Topic: "Torchwood" 13 Jul 2009|03:30am If they had the master as Prime Minister this wouldn't have happened. :( Add that to the latest episode of Kings and knowing they cancelled that but are keeping that concentrated shlock Heroes a.k.a The Claire And Peter Show and I will be starting school very, very sour. (comment)

Topic: "Publishing Industry, I hate you." 11 Jul 2009|05:22am So last week I went into a book store looking for Notre Dame of Paris. After I bypass the two Twilight displays at the door and see the Twilight Display in the back (complete with Twilight Lunchbox), I go looking for "Hugo" in the Literature section. Nothing. So I ask the lady at the desk if they had Notre Dame of Paris or Hunchback of Notre Dame. The response I got, after she looked it up, was that they didn't stock it because it didn't sell well, 'but check the library.' Pissed but ultimately deciding against posting about this since Twilight rants are no longer en vogue, I forget about the incident up until five minutes ago when amazon posted the summary of the next book in a series of which the author was recently paid upwards of $3,000,000 for: Having turned down the throne of Faerie, and pregnant at last with twins by the men she loves, ex-princess Meredith Gentry should be living happily-ever-after. But the exiles of Faerie have other ideas - they want Meredith to be their princess, whether she likes it or not. And the new political party in England, the Fey Independence Party, want the lands of Faerie back, and they've asked Meredith to come home to be their faerie Prime Minister. They won't give up without a fight. With the government of the two countries blaming her for political unrest, happy ever after for half-human, half-faerie Meredith is going to have to wait, as she is caught in a struggle that threatens her life and the lives of those she holds dear. But she's a fighter, and she wields a wild magic.. $3,000,000. Three. Million. Dollars. But stores don't stock Notre Dame of Paris. I don't know who to blame, so I'll just say I fucking hate you, Publishing Industry. So very much. Also, I want this: their faerie Prime Minister on a Business Card. (10 comments | comment)

Topic: "Ambien is evil. " 09 Jul 2009|04:11am ...Uuh. Please excuse my last nonsensical post? Only one of the many things I did last night since taking Ambien that I have no recollection of doing and then when I find it again I have absolutely no idea what I did? Honestly, there's that post and a shit ton of scribbles in my notebook I have not only no recollection of doing, but no idea what they mean or what I'm talking about. Holy shit, how is this medication legal. I have a freaky tolerance for medication, consider that I'm under 120 pounds and took three tablets of Ambien and still didn't sleep, that's just not a good sign. What the hell is that thing. So to make up for it, have mulletguy. "No Regis, the party is back here" Truly, a magnificent Kentucky Waterfall. (4 comments | comment)

Topic: "Maybe he just decided to stop when he'd had enough." 25 Jun 2009|06:51pm Michael are you okay? Are you okay Michael? Michael are you okay? Are you okay Michael? You've been hit by- You've been struck by- A smooth myocardial infarction! ..........:( (1 comment | comment)

Topic: "" 04 Jun 2009|06:36pm Today I got lost and found St. Marks Place. Holy. Shit. Holy Shit. Holy Shit. Holy. Shit. I.. I.. I think I'm in love? (While it was awesome, it was overpriced as fuck. $75 for boots? But hot damn did I fall in love.) And then on the way back a man in a sombrero got on my subway cart and started singing mariachi songs. This city, man. This city. (1 comment | comment)

Topic: "So. Yankees or Mets." 25 May 2009|03:41pm So like. I was putting off telling people for fear of jinxing it until I realised "It" is next week, so. I'm moving to New York City. After way, way, way too many years in the asscrack of nowhere, surrounded by farms and cowland, I'm finally heading into the big city. It's something I've dreamed of for a long time, but at the same time, I've been scared shitless. This is weird because I have never, ever, ever been frightened before a move. I think it's kinda like because this is the first time I'll be moving by myself and to a huge place? Lol, I have no idea. I'm just really freaked out that I'll be lonerly. Did any of you get this feeling when moving out? So. Yankees or Mets. (17 comments | comment)

Topic: "" 26 Apr 2009|11:31pm Dear America, Not three days ago when I sat in a cheap hotel next to the Atlanta Airport because of a layover due to a thunderstorm, CNN assured me that this ~pig flu~ was nothing more than a fleeting little problem and there was absolutely nothing to worry about ever and to sleep a lot and drink orange juice. Today I wake up and the news here (here being Middle of Nowhere, Brasil, 6 hours away from the usual Middle of Nowhere I stay at,) is that aforementioned pig flu is, actually, somekind of pig plague intent on wiping out America, in doing so getting every airport in the country closed, effectively locking us, the poor tourist, away from such important things as finals and finally getting the odd couple in the Sims to spawn a few kids so you could continue with your Simish Dynasty. Please don~t do that. It~s kinda lame. Seriously. So everyone, please keep safe as this plague problem is only at level 5 so far and needs to be level 6 before it locks us all out. Sleep a lot, drink a lot of orange juice, and, if in doubt, when dealing with the promise of intercourse with swine, err on the safe side and just say no. (2 comments | comment)

Topic: "" 30 Jan 2009|10:50pm Waaah, I'm back from Poland and I don't want to be. First off, Pushing Daisies rocks. Second off, I do believe there is such a thing as Joe Biden syndrome, and I suffer greatly from it. Inappropriate jokes are inappropriate, but I'll get to that. Polish people are disgustingly, astonishingly, freakishly hot and attractive to the point that it's just unholy. Totally pondering moving there for the hot people. So yeah. Fun trip all around. I should have the AuschwitzLand pictures up tomorrow. So okay. One of the things about small tours I hate is when I, despite my actual origin, end up being the token American, usually because of my thick accent. I hate it because it's like it has some psychological voodoo that usually ends up with me saying the dumbest most ignorant shit imaginable, playing beautifully into the stereotype. This usually happens once per trip, and this time I wasn't exempt. And it had to be in Auschwitz. So we're in the middle of the place and I notice some weird smell, but just something like really hot fuel coming from the road. So, in trying to break the ice, I just had to open my big ass mouth. [Middle of Auschwitz, heavy silence, everyone all solemn] Me; Hey, does something smell like it's burning? Everyone: .... Tour guide: ......... Me: ...!!!!!!11111111 Luckily, that was my only gaffe. Lucky, considering every time I saw a watch tower I was reminded of that old and crappy joke. All in all, however, I could be biased because of the swarm of teenagers on field trips playing with their goddamn cellphones, Auschwitz has actually become extremely commercialized, like somekind of sick parody of what it was. But again, maybe I was just cranky because of the kids. The only real thing there are the displays: The hair, the clothes and suitcases taken from the Jews. That shit will mess you up. There was one exhibit showing what they did with the hair and it was this roll of fabric. But when you looked closer, you could see the human hair sticking out of it. So that was a quantum leap from depressing to holyshityholyshitholyshitholyshi. Okay. This was all over the place, but I'm tired. More tommorow when I can upload the pics. (5 comments | comment)

Topic: "" 24 Jan 2009|01:29pm Waaaah, I don't want to go to Poland. It's cold and.. Cold. I mean really fucking cold. Also, British Airways is on Upped Alert because of Al Quaeda, so we have to be in the airport four hours before the flight for security. Fun. (2 comments | comment)

Topic: "My Big Fat Brasilian Family" 16 Jan 2009|01:53pm So I´m in Brasil, leaving tommorow. And oh. My god. So okay. When I visit this family I need to either be pre occupied with RPs ánd getting to an internet cafe or heavily medicated, or else you know what happens? I listen to what these people have to say. And nobody wants that. So many times in the past week I had to stop and actually ask myself if I´d just heard what I´d thought I heard even if what I thought I´d heard was pure, concentrated lunacy with an extra side of whatthechrist. A couple of highlites since I hate this keyboard too much and refuse to type for much longer on it. (çççççççççççççççççççççççççççççççç) (ç)(eáóâôû) (I´ll stop) [13:34] thekiwithatflew: To start? Yesterday? I had to spend five hours listening to my crazy ass aunt go on about how she is sure she has honest to god bugs living under her skin. [13:34] thekiwithatflew: Not like, bacteria or microbes, but like, actual bugs (amendum: SHE HAS SCRATCHED "THEM" OUT OF HER SKIN AND SAVED THE SCRAPINGS) [13:34] thekiwithatflew: But its okay, because she found God after he came to her in a dream (amendum: Bright swirling lights in her room spelling stuff out in greek and when she asked if she should repent it glowed a bright white then dissapeared) [13:34] thekiwithatflew: And then she will tell you about this dream, in great deal, for what is easily three hours. And then? God. [13:35] thekiwithatflew: And remember that military guy´s son my dad wanted me to marry when I was like, 12? Yeah, I just found out that military guy is my dad´s cousin. [13:36] thekiwithatflew: My other aunt has made a habit of going through my things and checking them. I don´t know for what, but a few days ago I woke up to find her half swallowed by my bagpack going on about the microbes in my pants because they were loose and the hem goes on the floor [13:36] thekiwithatflew: And this is just the stuff I can think of off the top of my head [13:36] thekiwithatflew: Oh and my uncle left his wife and four (I~d only known there were two) kids to pursue a standup comic career [13:37] thekiwithatflew: I want to be on that plane before he gives a free show The first few days it was all funny and cute and I was all ´This will make great stories back home!´but oh my god after four days I cannot take these people anymore DX Ýeahk, the crazy shit is cute, but what´s not cute is how you have zero privacy. They will go through your stuff and make judgements on every. Little. Thing. Ýou wear this? You look like this? How do you expect to be a diplomat when you look so low class? You know, your cousin, the one who owns his own company/is a lawyer/is obsenely rich´wasn´t much older than you when he was uber succesful/rolling in dough/buying us a house...´ My mother´s side of the family are the sane ones, but as usual, they´re the ones I see least. Same goes for my immediate first cousins and godparents. Despite being on my father´s side, they´re normal. Also, they know how nuts this family is. In a family of what is easily over the hundreds, I can think of maybe 5 people that aren´t on a train headed straight to loonytown (my godfather, godmother, their brother, their father (my uncle) and my grandfather.) That´s it. Everyone else? Batty, batty, batty! (áóâû) Oh also. I~m blonde. (I was really, really, really bored.) (3 comments | comment)

Topic: "Twlight:: IMDB-ed" 21 Nov 2008|02:49pm (Crossposted from SA) I used to write about made up movies as IMDb listings like good old SA used to do (in fact I was inspired by it). I haven't done this in a while, but reading about Twilight has inspired me. But for your enjoyment (hopefully), I present to you: Love of Blood in the light of the Moon Directed By: Mike Kark Written By: Kevin Gare (Bad emo poems) Jason King (Even worse emo poetry, totally about cutting and blackness and poo poo) Genre: Gay Vampire Shit/Travelog/Monologue/Sad whiny teenage girl fantasy Taglines: Sometimes true love that you always wished for in all your poems about being sucked by a vampire who loves you and who will always love you for the rest of eternity in a love that transcends the eons of existence can really be a pain in the neck. Plot Summary: Scarlett always dreamed of meeting the one perfect boy for her. Someone who would read her poems and totally get her. One who would feel like her true love, who would share her heartbeat and love for brooding. Enter Edmundo, the new boy in town who likes to brood and dresses all in black, like all sensitive brooding boys do. But Edmundo is not what he seems. For when nightfall comes, Edmundo is really a …(more) Cast Runtime: 93 Min (USA)/ 87 (Can)/452 Min (Japan) Country: Canada/Former Yugoslavia country made into an even newer country now Language: Really really really lovely emo poetry Colour: Lots of grey (like my soul)/ Black (like my heart)/ Red (like my bloody vampire fangs) Memorable quotes: Edmundo: Want to hear a poem I wrote? Scarlett: You wrote a poem? That is so romantic. You are the most beautiful and sensitive male I have ever known Edmundo: I know. My poem…it is called “Me and the universe). It is about me. Edmundo: I cannot do Scarlett. I cannot turn you into me Scarlett: But I love you, Edmundo. I want to spend my entire life with you. Edmundo: You don’t understand Scarlett. I cannot turn you into me. There is only room for one me. And that is me. Scarlett: Oh my god. You are a vampire. I never knew. I thought you were just a brooding goth who liked poetry about sucking blood and how really romantic that is. Fester: Forget Edmundo. Sure he is the sexiest thing to walk around on two legs. Sure he is the most sensitive boy who totally gets feelings. Sure he has the most beautiful eyes that seem to peer deep into your soul and know everything about you. But you should love me, Scarlett. Me! Scarlett: Oh Fester. I don’t think of you that way. Sure you are a great guy, but when there is a full moon you turn into a vicious man-eating werewolf, with a taste of flesh and a destructive streak that will tear us apart as you feast on my limbs. I think of you more as brother. Edmundo: Leave this girl, Brothers of the Covenant of the Brooding Blood Brothers of Ba’al. She is under my protection. Victor: Under your protection, Brother Edmundo he Who Gazes Longingly into Sunsets? How can this be? She is nothing more then a meal, Brother Edmundo He Who Gazes Longingly into Sunsets. She is nothing more then blood for us to drink and feast on, Brother Edmundo He Who Gazes Longingly into Sunsets. Edmundo: That may be so, but she listens to me when I read my poems and she understands the greatness that is me. Edmundo: In my 1000 years of greatness, I have never met a girl like you. Someone who understands me, worships me, and loves me, almost as much as they should. Fester: drat Edmundo, and his good looks and brooding sensitive way. If only Scarlett would love me, but it is so hard not to love Edmundo. He is the most perfect being in the world. Why if he was to hold me in his arms right now, I might not ever wish him to let go. Trivia • The poems that the book is based on is considered to be some of the best poems ever written by its fans, who are predominantly those over-weight 13 year old goth girls who have a nose piercing and sit in the back of the classroom and sprut out such hilarious lines like “they laugh at us because we are different, we laugh at them because they are the same” and carry around Emily Strange bags and wish Jack Skeleton was real because he is totally hot and totally gets them. You know who we are talking about. • To achieve the level of broodiness required for this film Zac Efron spent most of his time thinking about what it would be like to not be as belovedly loved as he is. He is also spent time with people who were less attractive then himself. • Most of the poems written in the movie were written by Jason King and deal with a variety of subjects ranging from drunken cousin loving between 3rd cousins to the subject of giving clams Prozac so they may be happy. • Due to budget restraints, fake blood could not be bought so most of the blood presented in the film (including the famous scene of Scarlett soaking herself in blood from head to toe on her wedding day in hopes that Edmundo would notice her) was provided by Kavein Gare who was constantly hooked up to a large needle pumping blood from him throughout the entire time of filming. • The scene where Edmundo scales the wall while reading the works of Sylvia Plath and discussing his feelings through an internal monologue took 5 weeks to film. Goofs • (factual errors)The movie portrays being bitten and having all your blood sucked out of you while you die a painful death as being a great way to get to second base with a girl. This is not true, as everyone knows that this is actually the best way to introduce yourself to someone at a party instead. • (Incorrectly regarded as a goof) Edmundo incorrectly tells Scarlett that wherever he is standing at any given time is where the center of the universe is. This may be though, as it is never stated in the movie that some other place may be the center of the universe. • (Continuity) It is stated earlier on in the movie that vampires don’t burn under the sun rays but rather turn into plants, however the vampires are shown outside during the daytime not looking very plantlike. (2 comments | comment)

Topic: "" 10 Oct 2008|12:05am Silent Hill 5 SPOILARSSS OMG: Alex's dad is secretly Locke from LOST. Upon the Island's disappearance it reappeared in Maine wherein it became Silent Hill. Upon this time/space shift, it also summoned up Dean Winchester from Supernatural to become Alex Shepard. Random updates: Having a minor in Russian Studies is really turning out to be a fun/notfun thing. CONS: I cannot fucking watch my favourite childhood cartoon, Anastasia, without crying at at least two different points. Every. Single. Time. Especially after last year. Fuck you, Don Bluth, for getting my childhood hopes up. Though now seeing Rasputin as a typical kiddie movie baddie is amazing to no end and I keep cracking up. I love it. PROS: John McCain implying he'd be fine and dandy starting up the cold war again means I'd have employment till the end of goddamn time. I might be moving out this summer, either to NYC or DC because of location + Major. However, I landed myself a semester teaching english in Kiev during Spring which I am really, really looking forward to. That might make moving out a bit harder because of timing. PS: At 19 fucking years old, I started ballet. Nineteen. Ballet. Oh, the hilarity of the shit I've gotten into thus far. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. It's morbidly hilarious. I refuse to drop it since I took it up to go, one day, en pointe, and I refuse to drop it until I do so. But holy fucking christ. I never thought I'd say 'too old' at 19 for anything. Then I took up ballet. 5 times a fucking week. Oh the stories I could tell you. (3 comments | comment)

Topic: "Hameln, slayers, Twin peaks and Batman. Fuck yea." 03 Aug 2008|08:04pm SO it's time for my bi-annual livejournal post. Even though I don't post in here a lot, I still keep up with my Friends list. There's a creepy thought for everyone. WHY DOES NO ONE KNOW WHAT VIOLINIST OF HAMELN IS?! D: I hear there's new stuff but I can't find any pages any younger than 2001. The fuck, fuckers. SO. I hear there's Xelloss in the new Slayers anime. Confirm/Deny. My watching it depends on this. but that's neither here nor there. That'd be a change of pace. The only anime I've seen in the past 2 years was Batman. (And while it rocked, I have to say that B:TAS is the superior form of entertainment. Oh, Bruce Timm. But Gotham Knights still rocked. I have yet to see TDK because the Imax keeps getting sold out and I AM WATCHING THAT BITCH ON IMAX IF IT KILLS ME. Actually, I've gone into a bit of Batmania as of late. If only Nolan could find Hush. YES IT'S CROSSOVER BUT IT'S AWESOME CROSSOVER. And come on. Jason Todd. That's Nolancandy right there. Actually, if I had my way, Nola would go to town on The Killing Joke, but with what happened with Ledger I don't think we're going to be seeing any more of the Joker in Nolanverse. Le woe. I'm hoping he gets the Riddler next, then. It's a shame the Riddler has never been in any of the Batman movies. No. He hasn't. I know what you're thinking. And no. Never existed. Jim Carrey who?) I resent all of you Otakon fuckers, by the way. While you're all grooving and having fun out in the 'takon, I'm stuck with a plaster cast on my leg because I didn't figure out that socks + hardwood stairs = Slow Down. Also, it's a bad sign when the receptionist at the local hospital greets you by name. Also the fact that I could look at a doctor in the face and say I didn't need crutches because I spare at home really put things in perspective. ALSO HOLY GOD THE DEVIL FROM REAPER WAS ON TWIN PEAKS HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. (Twin peaks is the pinnacle of television. Everyone needs to watch it.) Oh. Also. Anyone who likes Batman and wants to lose a few braincells. Watch a little series called Birds of Prey. Not the comic, the TV series. Here's a drinking game: One sip for every time you dream up of a new creative and inventive way to bring you sweet, sweet pain as opposed to the bad, bad pain emminating from the television. It really is that bad. It is so bad you can't look away. So bad you have to finish it out of spite against yourself for even getting the series. For looking at it. For thinking about it. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. It is that bad. We're talking about a batman based series that uses music from Michelle Brance and TaTu. That bad. Let's see. My life's as dull as usual. Had to do school during the summer to get the boring classes out of the way since I want to really focus on the polisci and International Relations stuff. I might have to go to Brasil in a couple of weeks for an emergency. It's kinda ihcky, but I'm glad I'll be able to go. It sucks when you're in a separate country from your family because if something goes down, all you can do is hover over a phone and wait. At least this time I'm actually going there and that's cool. I spent a full month there last year, and looks like I'll be going there for christmas again this year. SO LADIES AND GENTS. That's your bi annual update! Or at least until whatever happens that I go "hoshi, lj needs to hear about this!" I hope everyone enjoys Otakon! (26 comments | comment)

Topic: "" 26 Mar 2008|08:18pm So anime Boston was a no go for me, and it only got worse. Remember how I smashed part of my tooth in Katsu? Last week it finished coming off. The fake part, at least, when I smashed into a door. Here's the problem. My *actual* tooth had to be filed down when I got the fake covering. The thing is, by filing it down, it exposed eeeeeevery single nerve on that fucker. I was heavily anesthesized for the procedure, mind. Hurt like a bitch, too. Getting a needle shoved into the top front of your gum. But anyway. The covering covered all those exposed nerves, so I couldn't feel them. But when the fake part finished coming off, and my real exposed and filed tooth was out in the open? Haaaah. Now THAT was fun. Fucking *air* hurt. And it only got better. I had to take this paste thing that's like an anesthetic, but at home. Powerful stuff. So, sure, the pain would go away for brief periods of time, si I had to KEEP re applying it, but fucking hell. I couldn't talk right, couldn't eat right. Goodbye solid foods. Even after the procedure was done I had to be on it for a bit. It's better now, but I'm fucking pissed I missed AB. This is what I get for moving faster than thinking. Also. I just got rick rolled via phone. Landline, on top of that. I feel like I've leveled up in memes or internet or something. Fuck yeah. ALSO. Alias was a fun little series. I just finished marathoning the series. Well. Most of it. The last two seasons were laughably bad, which is why I watched them. Not everyone! Go watch Reaper! strike>Missy Peregrym, read, hottest woman alive, is on it.</strike> Only because Kevin Murphy, fucking Kevin Murphy, is the producer! Yeah, that's totally the only reason I watch that show. Totally. Yep. And if you don't know who Kevin Murphy is, well then. Infidel. (3 comments | comment)

Topic: ":(" 18 Feb 2008|09:58pm Things that went wrong in Katsu: -Thursday the front of my teeth broke off. My teeth are all fake in the front because of how many times I broke them, as well as due to a huge gap between my two front teeth. When we were out for dinner thursday, the front cover of my teeth that covered the gap there fell off. This one day before the photoshoots. - I came out looking horrible in all my chii pics because I was purposely trying to smile nicely/look innocent when someone told me I was smirking. This caused me to look perpetually frightened. - I lost the choker for the Tonks costume. Also didn't have time to do the make up for the Tonks photoshoot, likely making me look washed out as all hell. - Did not get pics of my Serenity costume, Death Eater costume, Black Freya costume or Andromeda costume because I left early. - The room I was in ended up being overcrowded, meaning I lost a lot of stuff. - Saturday my hair was greasy as hell after I took off my wig. Did not realise this until _after_ I'd met a bunch of people. - Ended up leaving saturday and partially regretting it as I didn't get the chance to hang out with Paul like I wanted to, as well as two chicks I RP with. - Now trying to go to anime Boston to make up for all of the above. Not sure whether I ask for a room or get a room since the only rooms available have a queen bed. And the AB discount is off. Anyone have room? (25 comments | comment)

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Age: Old enough.
Eye colour: The...Colour after you've poked yourself in the eye with a contact lense like...Eight hundred times?
Birthday: Every year.
Hair colour:........At this point in time? Red, brown, blonde AND black. NOW THATS KILLER MARY SUE SKILL RIGHT THERE! *gets shot*
Height: ...IM GROWING >.O
Weight:..You ARE kidding if you expect me to answer THAT >P [..Yeah...I need a diet that bad..]
Star sign: Capricorn- Saggitarius.....Because I have enough time on my hands to look it up.
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Blood type: The red kind.
Likes: Violence.
Dislikes: Everything else? =D

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This layout was originally coded by liberalfaerie and was reconfigured tp suit fmdjgirl. All changes were done by fmdjgirl. Image is from google. Various brushes used from kiss my pixels. Please do not copy or steal any part of this layout. Edit: Obviously there was some editing made since the picture was changed to be a cosplay picture. The original image was that of...Ayumi Hamasaki? I think thats how you spell it..Though Im not fond of the singer, I just fell in love with the layout of the....Layout...I would ask the maker to have my babies but she already has one and I dont think her husband would much appreciate a random little sixteen year old kid asking his wife to bear her children =P

Hello there! For some random, strange and bizarre reason you've stumbled across the livejournal of holyturtlemonkeys. You may feel some disorientation, nausea, heartburn, indegestion and hey! Diarrhea- But theres always pepto bismol.

I'm a....Strange...Strange mixture of a fanfiction author and a cosplayer. Yeah, bizzare huh? My time can be easily seperated between plotting ways to further confuse and torment my cosplay group, the modsouls, and further ways to confuse and torment Bleach fanfiction readers......The.....Confused and tormented Bleach fanfiction readers?

Still with me?.....Why? Anyway. A lot of days you wont see a post, that might be because its friends only because Im afraid of starting a bit of a riot. If your really curious, just drop me a note and I'll friend you. If theres anything you need or want to know, just ask ^-^